“I don't mind if people want to be loonies, so long as they don't mind if I take the piss out of them.”
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An intro from Jake: Here's our (family) favourite, and it's ever such a long song. I'll sing a few verses of it. At home - oh, we love singing about this, we love making up verses. At home we've got an old dog. She's right old, and really she's going a bit . . . she's going a bit doolally. She does peculiar things . . . She sits watching the fridge – really! She can't remember where she lives, she can't remember her name . . . you know, things like this. She's a very old dog. But of course we're potty about her, but we take the piss out of her quite a lot. I'll tell you what it is, it's like . . . my middle son told me, he mentioned this to me, and he's dead right: it's like having an old, an old potty auntie living with you. You know, I mean you love her very much indeed, and you say "come down and stay with us, Auntie – please; you must. We've got a downstairs bedroom, and central heating, and it would be lovely to see you," and you mean all that. And then she comes down, and she's so bloody doolally! Well, I don't know, we had one about four weeks ago, our Auntie Betty was down, and it was all – shuffling about, talking to herself upstairs. She used to talk to the cold tap! And also there's kind of – don't get me wrong – there's a kind of auntie . . . smell. Don't laugh too much, because you know how much one loves one's auntie, but there is a . . . it's not an unpleasant smell, but I mean it's, it's an . . . somebody'll knock on the door and he'll say, "Oh, good morning Jake, could I borrow a cup of sug- . . . Have you got an auntie staying?" But, of course, you are fond of these people. I'll sing this song and then we'll have a half-time. And on another occasion Jake said: I'm going to chance my arm; here's another children's song. It's a song about our dog. It's a very private song but, er, see what you make of it. It's a song about a dog that we're potty about that lives with us. |