“I'm not going to sing the one that she asked me for because, er... well I can't actually... I can't remember a lot of the words. But I'll tell you what, look, erm, if it's any consolation, the one I'm going to sing will have a lot of the same... notes.”
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We have 5 guests online| The Policeman's Jig |
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Words & Music: Jake Thackray Click here to download guitar tab Here's a jolly jig that we've all heard before, Frequently performed by the extraor-dinary Dancing bastions of the law. They call it the policeman's jig-jig. It's the dance of the police pornography squad Very similar to the Dashing White Jod-rells All close eyes and off you plod, Doing the policeman's jig-jig. Waiting at the station is the dancing troupe, Whistles listless, truncheons droop-ing. Then up and away, lads, we're off on a swoop. Heigh-ho for a policeman's jig-jig. There's private parts to prosecute So off they swirl in wild pursuit With flashing eyes and whirling boots, Off for a policeman's jig-jig. They've got no time for the ordinary muck, The inflammatory pap of the dirty book-shops. Grotty erotica never gets a look-in - Not in a policeman's jig-jig. No, they like a bit of class if it's going to be banned; A masterpiece comes in right hand-y - Preferably something they don't understand Is grist to the policeman's jig-jig. Then back to the nick with whoops and cries Bearing aloft their pornographic prize-s. Brew a pot of tea and feast their eyes On the pickings of the policeman's jig-jig. If it's a picture or a book that shows a bit of style They whisper to each other with maidenly smiles: "I don't get it, so it must be vile". Such is the policeman's jig-jig. Thank you mister policeman for the pure work you do. If those dirty things were open to the public view We'd all get bulging eyes and nasty habits, just like you, If we did a policeman's jig-jig. Click here to download guitar tab |